Your department is organizing a drink after work for managers, staff, and maybe some clients from different countries. As a professional, it’s important to network and socialize with your colleagues, clients, and partners. 


This is because  people tend to prefer doing business with people they know, all else being equal. However, what’s interesting is that even when other factors such as experience come into play, people still tend to choose those they have a prior relationship with. Even if the relationship is just a seven minute face-to-face conversation!


However, if you’re not a fan of small talk, would rather go home and watch Netflix, or just don’t feel comfortable speaking English in these settings, you’re not alone. 


Many people, even native English speakers, feel nervous or uncomfortable at these events. But with a little planning, you can make the most of your time, maximize your visibility, connect with influential people, and leave the event on your own terms. 


Here’s a 29-minute plan to help you do just that.

Five Things You Don’t Have To Do:


  1. Get to the party on time

  2. Stay until the end

  3. Stay for a long time

  4. Speak with everyone

  5. Speak with anyone for a very long time


Five Things You Definitely Don’t Want To Do:


  1. Don’t speak negatively, complain, or gossip. Avoid politics and religion. Keep it positive.

  2. Don’t talk about work unless the other person brings it up.

  3. Don’t get drunk. If you don’t drink alcohol, it’s acceptable to drink soda.

  4. Don’t eat while you’re talking to people.  It’s called NETWORKING, not NET-EATING!

  5. Don’t waste time – don’t stand alone by the wall or the bar waiting for someone to start a conversation with you.


Cultural Map:


Many Westerners, especially U.S. Americans, love talking about themselves. You could probably have an entire conversation based on one question and mirroring them. Use this to your advantage!


Many Westerners, especially U.S. Americans, are uncomfortable with silence. Ask an initial question and then mirror the person’s keywords. They will be happy to keep talking. However, be warned, Americans often share TMI (Too Much Personal Information). I’ll talk about this in another blog.


Westerners often ask “How are you?” or “How have you been?” They don’t really want to know how you feel or anything personal. If you answer this question too personally and give too much information, they may feel uncomfortable. 


So when someone greets you by saying “How are you?” just respond with “I’m good, how are you?” or “Good, you?” A variation of “How are you?” could be “What’s up?” “What’s happening?” “What’s going on?” Again, these are not meant to be answered too seriously.

 

Five-Point Plan:

  1. Arrive a little late and ensure the party has started.

  2. Survey the room for three to five minutes and identify three high-priority contacts you want to see at the event.

  3. Warm up by speaking with someone you know and feel comfortable with. Only spend two to three minutes with this person.

  4. Approach and greet the first high-priority contact person. Spend up to seven minutes with them and move on. Repeat this step with the other two high-priority contact people.

  5. Get in all group pictures. Now your presence at the event is recorded in history! Then leave the party. Others will be too busy to notice when you’ve left.

Oh no! What are you going to talk about for seven minutes? For this, check out my blog, “Mirroring and Labeling:  Are Your Questions Killing The Conversation?”

 

 

With this 29-minute plan, you can make the most of your time, connect with important people, and leave feeling accomplished. And when you get home, you can watch your favorite K-drama and enjoy some pizza (no pineapple on the pizza please!)!

 

For a 29-Minute Plan Quick-Look Reference Card that fits on your phone screen, click HERE